New Year, New Me

Have you ever wondered what you are going to be doing in the future? I am sure you get sick of those "where do you see yourself in five years?" questions as much as I do. However, I am realizing more and more each day that I do not have a stable answer anymore. I want to make a difference. I want to solve world hunger...blah, blah, blah...I need to make my own path. I need to be the person Eryn is supposed to be. I need to be that Eryn God planned me to be.

I am thinking right now that I am going to be a college professor in Marketing. I would love to work in the field first, and then slowly get my Ph.D. and then apply for a teaching position at somewhere like Drake. Actually, not LIKE Drake, but AT Drake. I want to give back to the one university that has made such an impact on my life. I am less than halfway done with undergraduate schooling and I already know I am a better person because I attend Drake. How can I not want to teach the future world leaders?

I am looking forward to my future life with the man of my dreams and 2.5 kids in a house with a white picket fence and dog named Spot. Actually, let's make that a cat named Jingles. Cats are better. I want to be that intellectual businesswoman who is God-fearing and radiates Christianity all around. I want to be that person who shows integrity and love and compassion to everyone I meet. I want to be that person who is humble and who will never forget my roots.

Given all that, I need to keep myself in check. I need to keep documenting my life like I used to. I have three full journals from when I was younger, and they are basic, random, and have little emotion. Or so I thought. I was able to express all of my emotion just by recounting the events of my day. I think this is the single most important thing in my growth as a Christian and overall human being.

My New Year's resolution is to journal my thoughts and the events of the day. I need to do this for me so that I can get out of this horrible funk I have been in for the last several months. So here's to a wonderful 2011 with many journals and thoughts from the mind of Eryn. Hold on-it may be a wild ride!

Story Time!

It is official: I am taking 18 credits next semester. This scares me a little, but I think I can handle it. I do know that I will have less free time but I think that is OK with me. I have come to the point where I can have one bad year (sophomore year) and make the last two years amazing. Many people may think I am losing my mind, but I am certainly not. Sure, Drake is a difficult school, but I think I am a little smarter than the average bear (or at least I act like it).

Don't get me wrong, this has been the worst semester of my life BY FAR, but I think it was the many other things that played into the stress as well. Sophomore year of high school was the most stressful and now college is going to be the same way. I have come to terms with it.

I am perfectly aware of the fact that I usually pull myself too thin; it is just the way that I am. I honestly have to have at least a little bit of stress in my life to function. No stress is a no-go for me. I do not believe that is abnormal for me to want this in my life. Just call me Type A and move on with it, already.

I am beginning to realize just how average my writing skills are, and I am NOT okay with that. I should write and read more often to stay up on my basic skills. I actually had to look up how to put an apostrophe at the end of Memphis. For the record, it is Memphis's, in case you wanted to know. This is why I am excited for my two English classes next semester. Not only is writing my passion, but I need to improve on it as well.

The moral of the story, kids is this:

1. Deal with stress as you have to deal with it. For me, that means creating more stress.
2. Use it or lose it. This is more true than I ever thought possible.

The Simple Confusing Life

I am beginning to realize just how simple my life actually is. I enjoy cuddling up on a couch with my Kody and watching a stupid basketball game more than something else more productive. Best of all, I baked tonight.

Kaila and I used to bake all the time and I loved it so much. When we moved to Drake, we had to stop because we didn't have a "real" kitchen to use for baking. We need somewhere where we can feel comfortable and have baking supplies readily available. Needless to say, our creation tonight turned out to be fairly tasty. And Kody had more than his fair share of the cookies :)

One thing that hit me today at work was how much I miss writing as well. I was given the task to look a document to see if it was outdated and check for the accuracy of the information. By the time I was done with it, it was all marked up. Good news: the information was accurate. Bad news: it was poorly written and made little sense. I don't mind helping others out with their grammar issues, even if I do not get any credit for it. I know I am not the best editor, but I truly enjoy it and I truly want to excel in that area one day.

I have been praying a lot lately for Kody and his relationship with God. It kills me to think that he doesn't go to church and doesn't desire a closer relationship with God. I NEED my significant other to be close with God and be proud of it. He does not portray that image in the least. It kills me to think of life without him, but I cannot be with someone who does not want to have a close relationship with God.

I am frustrated because he says he will go to church once we are married. Why not now? He doesn't have the time. What makes him think he will suddenly have time to go to church? I don't believe it at all. And he does not want to go to a Baptist church, either. That is a totally different story. We have been together for over 9 months now and have been avoiding this issue the entire time. However, it is time to discuss this topic. I want to marry this boy and spend the rest of my life with him. I would love nothing more than that for the rest of my life. However, I CANNOT marry a non-Christian. I know he says he is Christian, but I am fairly certain he is not saved...

I am a lazy person and my computer is not plugged in. I think I have 5 minutes of battery life left. I should end on this note:

Never sit in bubblegum.