Blessings Found in Kody

I am a very blessed human being. I can't even begin to think I had anything to do with this because I know it is all God. I know I don't deserve someone as great as Kody, but for some reason God felt I needed him in my life.

Kody is such a calm, forgiving person. He cares about me (as I do about him) and isn't afraid to show it. He has that unconditional love that I don't deserve to receive. It doesn't make sense to me. I hurt him. All the time. I do stupid things I shouldn't. I fall into sin and do things that are not God-honoring, yet Kody loves me the same.

Kody and I are in the middle of a (somewhat) problem caused entirely by me. No surprise there. He has more faith in me to fix this than I have in myself. He trusts me. He is always there to back me up and support me whenever I need it. He sees an Eryn that I just do not see.

He goes through so much for me and puts up with my craziness, yet I don't appreciate him like I should. I only hope one day to thank him for his kindness and caring in the way he deserves. Even if I screw up too many times and I am not the one to ultimately appreciate him, I hope some girl can appreciate his wonderful traits correctly.

Best. Fiance. Ever.

This is what Mr. Kody had in his hands when he met me at my apartment tonight. What a perfect Valentine's present. We knew we both might be busy on Tuesday, so we thought we should just give our gifts early. 


He made such a cute "heart shot with an arrow" design out of chocolate. I am impressed. How can a guy go wrong with dark chocolate and homemade gifts? 


This is DEFINITELY the best Valentine's gift I have ever received from him. He did an amazing job.

Stop It!

Yes, I am aware I am still in college. But thanks for informing me.


Yes, I am only 21. Thanks for reminding me.


Yes, I am ready to be married. So STOP judging me over it.


I can't believe how many people openly show their distaste in my choice to get married right after graduating college. It is driving me nuts. Yes, I really don't care what others think of me. Just stop telling me how much you dislike my decisions to my face!


We both are intelligent individuals who have planned things very carefully. We are not about to embark on marriage just because "it feels right." There is much thought and prayer in our decision. We know what we are doing is right for us. Maybe not for you, but for US. 


No, we are not making a mistake by wanting to get married young; I always knew I would be married as young as possible. Even as a young girl I wanted to be married by 23. So what? I am not giving up being a young adult or going out and partying. I am all dated out. Why not join with the person I know I want to spend the rest of my life with?


Being in a Christian relationship means God is the center of our relationship - not sex, each other, or any other worldly thing. We abstain from many things seen in a normal relationship as a means to know each other better. The 2.5 years we have been together was about a LOT more than physical and emotional attraction that most relationships of today center around.


It saddens me that people don't want to be happy about such a happy time in my life. I know I would always have non-approvers no matter what age I am or what stage in life I am. I pray those who do not believe in what Kody and I are doing to one day come around.

100th Post!

One would think that having this blog for about 1.5 years would mean I would have gotten to 100 posts before today, but hey, here I am. I write about one post every 5 days, which is not bad considering how busy of a person I typically am.

What better way to write my centennial post than by making a Hunger Games reference?

Kody and I were texting back and forth today about random things and I said something along the lines of:

Photo via Trailershut.com

"I am so glad I am yours."

To which he replied, "Always."

Now on any other day, that would have been fine (pre-Hunger Games Eryn), however, that took on a whole different meaning for me this time. Anyone who has read the series knows what the term "always" means and that it is one of those terms that makes one go "awwww....."

So, I  am now thinking about the Hunger Games and how sweet Peeta is to Katniss. The fact he always says "always" to her whenever she needs him for something. It makes me sad that the series is almost over and I won't have anymore to discover. 

Whether Kody knows it or not, he gave me one of the biggest smiles I have had in a VERY long time thanks to a single work.

Lovely Revelations

I just read an amazing article from Relevant magazine that I appreciated. Not for the reason I was supposed to appreciate it for, but I appreciated it.

"But he (or she) isn't a virgin" is an article about dealing with your partner's sexually impure past. I read this all the time in Christian self-help articles. Same topic. I wasn't expecting much new from this. However, I did find out new things.

In the comments after the article, many people were commenting about how it was the female's sexual past that caused the problems while the men were perfect angels who had never done anything wrong? Really? In my life I have seen the exact opposite from relationships. It was stated like a well-known fact. Uh....what world am I living in? An alternate universe? I am sorry, but that is completely not true. I don't really want to get into this but women have fewer sexual needs and therefore remain pure most of the time (unless a guy is pressuring her).

Another thing this article made me think about was how difficult it is for engaged couples to stay pure (from what I hear). I don't understand this, because I KNOW this won't be a problem with me. I am too preoccupied planning and worrying about other things in my life to deal with those problems. Besides, it is like running a race and finally being in the home stretch (crap, I need to get back to training for a race in a few months. Bleck....) and not quitting. If I have a mile left, I don't just stop and sit down on the pavement and say "I'm done." That is the easy part! You are almost done!

I love having these revelations in my life. It brings a smile to me.

Guys like you don't like girls like me

Please excuse me while I gush a little bit in this post. It is just the mood I am in.


I remember the first thing I said when I found out Kody liked me, too.


"...but, guys like you don't like girls like me."


It still feel that to this day.


He was the high school popular guy. He had great grades, was great at sports, everyone liked him - the list goes on. He was just too interested in others things in his life to worry about dating. 


I was the nerd. I over-involved myself in school because I loved every aspect of high school. I got near-perfect grades, was in more organizations than I can count on one hand, and I loved participating in science competitions, academic team, and math club. 


The more I got to know him, the more I realized he was out of my league. Every day I still wonder how I got him.


He would do ANYTHING for me, or anyone he loves. ANYTHING. Even if it completely inconveniences him.


He is 21 and doesn't drink. For no other reason than that he doesn't want to. He is a picky eater and alcohol sounds unappealing to him. 


He has no idea how many girls stare at him when I am with him. Actually, maybe he does, but he doesn't care in the least. 


He respects "Kaila and Eryn time." He would go months without seeing me if it meant I was spending time with Kaila.


He puts up with my crazy moods and personality. I am about the most opinionated person there is, yet he doesn't act embarrassed when I speak my mind.


For those reasons and many more, I have a guy that is too good for me. I hope he never learns the truth. 

Speaking of Religion...

My last post was a little heavy so I am going to follow up with a lighthearted post for this one.

My favorite band wrote a song called "Her Love is My Religion."

While it is somewhat sacrilegious, I like it. Lots.

It fits in so well with the trivial aspect of religion I spoke of earlier this evening.

Enjoy. :)




(Oh and the song is "Her Love is my Religion" by The Cab.)

Job Security

I came into work today to find out one of my close coworkers was terminated. She and I were both interns until she moved up to a full-time position.

From Motifake.com

We have all heard of people losing their jobs because of the recent poor economy. It is no wonder terms like "downsizing" and "layoff" are now household terms. It scares me to think this could be me one day.

"The department was making cuts and decided they no longer needed that position," I was told. That is not reassuring to me. AT ALL. I am a lowly intern, not the full-time worker she is was. I feel like I was needed even less than she was.

"I just wanted to let you know that you don't have to worry about your position. You are perfectly fine where you are. You aren't going anywhere," I was reassured. I hope this is the truth. I love my job here and I would hate to leave.

I need to come to appreciate the fact that I have a job. I want to stay an intern forever. I think I have more job security that way.

God Watches Over Us

Here is a wonderful story that proves the existence of God and his wonderful powers. He is so good to us.

I work with a woman at Sodexo and have for about two and a half years now. She is a wonderful Godly woman who attends her Assemblies of God church multiple times a week. She is so upbeat and cheerful and loves life now that she found God about a decade ago.

Right before I started working at Sodexo, she would leave her office door unlocked whenever she needed to leave to run a quick errand or have a short break. She would shut the door but never felt the need to lock it.

One day, she left for a quick break and noticed someone out in the lobby staring at her office. She didn't think much of it, but made sure she put her purse in a drawer before leaving. When she came back, everything seemed moved around a little bit and she noticed her purse was gone from the drawer she had left it in. She immediately reported the theft but never saw the guy again. Worse, nobody else had seen him in the lobby and couldn't track him down.

Fast forward to three years later. Last night, she got a call from a local Presbyterian church about five blocks away. The called to tell her they found her purse with her wallet, car keys, glasses, and makeup in it. She couldn't believe it. Someone had found the purse in a closet in the back of the church. Of all the places it could have been found, it was found in a church.

Best of all, it was untouched. All her cash was still in the purse, her glasses, and everything she had had in the purse that day three years ago was still there. It was a little musty and the makeup was old, but she had all of her belongings again. Now, she had replaced the important things like her glasses and wallet, and had cancelled all of her credit cards, but she had them again.

When she told me about this story today, she couldn't stop smiling and saying, "there truly is a God. He watches over us." She is 100% right. I am not sure what she was to learn from that strange incident, but she now feels more and more thankful each day because He is in her life.

The strangest thing in my mind about this entire story is how often we reference the "stolen purse." 

"Oh make sure to lock the door when you leave. Don't want your purse taken!"

"Put away your belongings."

"Remember where you leave your purse when you leave the office."

Now, the final chapter of the stolen purse story is complete and that book can be closed.

Chapter 2: Over

Kody and I are embarking on our third year together. That's right, folks, today marks our 2nd year together. I can't believe I have been dating him for 2 WHOLE years. That's 1/10 of my life. 730 days. 104 weeks. Okay, now that doesn't sound like much.

Most couples my age would be engaged by now. The rest of the couples would have split up. Kody and I have  made it past that hurdle. Somehow, we made it. Through all the arguments and problems, we have made it. That horrible (nonexistent) two-year hurdle. I am glad to say that it hasn't been easy, and it hasn't been a blast, but it has been worth the struggle.

He and I are going to spend the rest of our lives together. We don't have to be that exciting couple who goes out every weekend, or who has exciting news. We like being our boring selves together. We can sit around and do homework all day, or watch Big Brother on TV. We laugh to the same jokes and get on each others' nerves in the same way. 


In essence, we are made for each other.


I can't wait until the day we make it official. But for now, we are going to live life. Together.


Here's to another two great years. And even more.

Just...Me...

Okay, so I realized my last post was a little harsh. I am now entering my second week of my junior year of classes and I am beginning to see the reality around me. I want to being focusing my life on things that matter, not on what pleases others. I want to being pursuing my passions more than ever before. I don't have a very long life: none of us do. I want to live mine to the fullest.

I want to know what it is like to be committed totally to someone forever.

I want to help another person find out his or her meaning in life.

I want to help another person get past a troubling problem in his or her life.

I want to make people around me smile.

I want to live as if money were no object but yet live frugally.

I want to be my own editor.

I want to speak my mind every second of everyday.

I want to stop being my own worst enemy.

I have so much yet to learn in this life of mine. I have my high days and my low days. However, I am just me. I am going to rant sometimes and I am going to praise other times. One day, someone is going love me for me and appreciate that aspect of me.

Wrong Image

This is a video from my new favorite site to hate, Atheistconnect.org. This video, called God vs. $20 has this guy attempting to show the ridiculous nature of the Christian faith, but instead proves its wonderful workings more and more. I am not sure anyone on Atheist Connect realizes how silly it makes this guy look, but I appreciate his act of proving how kind God is to us all.

These people are living out of a van but are happy because of the love of God. His Atheistic mind can't wrap around their joy. I love it.

Under my skin

You want to know the best way to get under my skin?

Tell me I am wrong even if you know I am right.

Tell me I am wrong and don't back up your statement.

Tell me I am wrong. Period.

I visited a website yesterday called Atheist Connect. This way bad news from the beginning. I should have never visited in the first place. But I did. Sue me.

Here is their logo. I couldn't care less if I stole their copyrighted image. Could the tagline be more pathetic?

This website has the perfect amount of ignorance mixed with grammar and spelling errors to make me furious. I want to feel sorry for all the lost souls, but they are rude, crude, and difficult to deal with.

The article I really wanted to rip my hair out over is "Five lies Christians hold dear about the myth of a Christian nation." 'Nuff said.

I somehow made it through this sorry excuse of an article about the fallacy in Christian faith. So, I commented in the comments section about the fallacy of the article and how I really wish the person had actual sources so I could look them up. About 12 hours later, I had over 7 replies to my post about how I am an "idiot" (and other expletive words) and all I had to do was Google the information. Google? I am expected to trust the first thing I find on Google and assume it to be true? WOW. It is more difficult to be an Atheist than it is to be a believer.

I think I am going to pray for those on this site. I think they are lost souls who just need to understand the true love of God. I think they are trying too hard to deny the truth that it makes them defensive when someone wants to know more. It makes me sad.

What I Love

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.⁸ Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

-From 1 Cor 13:4-8

I have to say my favorite verse in the Bible is the first part of verse 8: Love never fails. I know how hokey that truly sounds but in my mind it is everything but hokey. I honestly believe that with the love of God, the love in our brothers and sisters, we can't fail. I mean, isn't that what our lives are about: showing the love of God and loving others in the process?

Now, I am not going to go off on some Rob Bell phrase. Sure, Love Wins, is pretty much another way to say "love never fails," but I think he has it a little wrong. (Take a deep breath). I am not going to rant about that now.

What I really want to talk about is the love in my life right now. I saw so much love when my parents visited recently to make sure Kaila was okay. I sometimes forget how wonderful they are until I see them again. I take for granted the fact that I even have parents in the first place, much less that both of them will stop their lives for nearly a week for us. That is so inspiring to me.

Nextly, (I know that is not a word but I really like it) I wish I showed more love in my life. For instance, I made a somewhat rude and highly opinionated post on a discussion board for my summer online history class about Mormons. I in no way hate Mormons - in fact, I feel bad for them. I went on to say how the religion is a joke, and well, it didn't get any better from there. According to Kaila, I was offensive. I see that now. I was offensive. That is pretty much how I am. I showed no love for the Mormons. I hope no Mormons are in my class. I am already on the blacklist, I am sure.

It is my goal this summer to show more love to those around me. I am not good at it, but I really need to try. I feel better when I am not the snarky, opinionated version of myself. Who am I kidding? When I am not myself. I am opinionated and I like to be heard. I feel that I have a voice for a reason and I need to use it. This usually happens at others' expense. Not great of me.

So, I am going to show others I love them. I already love most people in my life, but I do not show it very well. What things in my life right now do I love? I am sure there are plenty...

1. Kittens. I really wish I had one right now.
2. Cats. See video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mTTwcCVajAc (she sums it up well)
3. Kody. He is so patient and caring ALL THE TIME. It tires me how patient and caring he is. He deserves someone less crazy but he chose me. Now he's stuck. Too bad for him.
4. Kaila. She is pretty much the best thing in my life. She always has been. It will never change.
5. Chocolate. It is the reason I no longer fit into my high school clothes.
6. Peanut butter. It is another reason I no longer fit into said clothes.
7. God. That should be #1 but I was so preoccupied with cats. #1 theoretically.
8. My family. They all live far away but I do love them anyway.
9. My church. This includes my church family.
10. My status. I could be poor and living on the street with no job but God has blessed me with the best job in the world along with a great apartment and wonderful life. I couldn't ask for more (actually, I do ask for more quite often. but I don't need more by any means.)

So, that is love in my life. I could use more. That list should be 10X as long. It will be one day.