It is a bummer to be told you are not good enough. I had a scholarship interview a few weeks ago and I got a call today that I didn't get it. People "excelled" more than me according to the woman who broke the news to me. I just don't get it. Why does God do these things?
I just wanted to have some help next school year. If those scholarship interviewers knew half of what I have been through in the last year, let alone semester, then they would understand how much I need this. And what is this about not excelling enough? I guess an executive position in two national organizations, three jobs totaling about 25 hours a week, and a 4.0 isn't considered excelling? I am more than a little bummed.
What did I do wrong? I keep replaying this over and over in my mind. There were 10 selected for interviews and 5 got the scholarship. So I am in the bottom half of those who excel? It doesn't make any sense to me. I had a wonderful interview. I felt I deserved the award. And by the way the phone call went today it seemed like I was #10 by a LONG SHOT.
Needless to say, tears came. If I didn't get it and that was it, I would understand. The fact that she used the word "excel" is what bothers me so much. Do they even know what my life consists of? I gave my heart and soul out in that interview but it wasn't enough.
It is days like today that I wish chocolate was calorieless and that I was one of the 90% of Drake students here who have mommy and daddy to pay for all of college. I don't want to worry about this grown-up stuff anymore. I want to enjoy college like everyone else.
And then, I was upset when she said she was going to put a good word in for me on a position at the company I was asked to apply for because I was the "ideal candidate." Really? Ideal candidate for that but not good enough for the scholarship? I find her words piercing more than anything.
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