Naturally Eryn

I have always admired those people who I consider to be wise. Those people who appear to make all of the right choices, have everything together, and have many pieces of advice for me. Where does wise come from? Is it learned, acquired, given at birth? I just do not know. All I know is that I want to be wise one day.

Where is this coming from? I am turning 20 in just a few days and I am beginning to realize that I used to find 20 to be old. I used to think someone who was 20 was going to croak any day. I still feel so young and immature most of the time. In fact, I can't believe my teenage years are almost over. I really don't know how to be an adult yet, and I don't want to be one anytime soon. However, my age is telling me that I should be an adult. I should start acting like one, and making decisions like one, and being that grown up that inevitably becomes.

Wait. Aren't I already a grown up? Maybe I have been one for many years. I have recently learned that I never did those stupid things that all kids do, like drinking, or sneaking out, or lying to their parents, or doing something dangerous. Honestly, the scariest thing I have done is "rock climbing" at project graduation. I feel that I have never let myself be a kid. I never did those fun things every kid does, or did something just for the fun of it. Does that mean I never had a childhood? I know I have always been considered boring, but I never thought of everything I was truly missing out on.

I truly don't think I will ever be considered wise if I continue to second guess myself. Maybe that thought will have to sit on the back burner.